First conversations are awkward,
especially between the sexes. Here’s everything you need to know about how to
keep a conversation going effortlessly. by WANNA
Guys and girls may be from Mars and Venus.
But learning how to keep a conversation going between the sexes can
help you bridge that divide without any hiccups.
For most of us, the first few minutes of a new conversation is the
absolute worst.
It’s awkward and uneasy, and almost a toe curling nightmare.
But as annoying as those first few minutes are, it is those very few
minutes that will turn out to be the biggest judge of your conversation skills.
After all, first impressions are made of first conversations.
How to keep a conversation going effortlessly
It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to impress your new find on a first
date, or woo someone in a first conversation.
The most important thing to remember is to avoid the awkwardness from
seeping into the conversation.
If your new friend feels awkward, chances are, they’d want to slip away
from you as soon as possible or they’d be praying for you to leave them alone.
And you really can’t get someone’s attention if all they’re doing is
focusing on getting away instead of staying back and enjoying a conversation
with you, can you?
How to make the first few minutes work in your favor
Awkwardness always finds a way to crawl into a first conversation
within the first few minutes. If you can ensure that your first few minutes
with someone you like is exciting and fun, they’d probably look forward to
sticking around you the whole evening.
Keep a few conversation makers in mind, depending on where you are. The
location and the reason for the gathering are always great conversation
starters, be it a cocktail party hosted by your friend or a Friday night
get-together after work. And from there on, all you need to do is keep the
conversation going…
How to keep a conversation going in 3 steps
To keep a conversation going, there are just 3 things you need to keep
in mind. Once you’re past the hellos and the pleasantries, use these three tips
to stretch the happy conversation.
#1 Open ended questions. If you’re interested in prolonging
the conversation, always ask open ended questions. Answer any question you’re
asked with another question so your new friend can respond to you with their
own views.
#2 Use their answers to create more questions. If the person
you’re talking to says they like something, use their answer to create more
questions to find out more about their interests. With each new question you
ask, you’d be able to see several other questions that can help you know more
about this person, and at the same time, make them feel more involved.
#3 Compliments. “I’m glad I met you here, or this place would be such
a bore.” Saying something nice will help the person to warm up better to you. A
compliment or two is a pleasant break from the typical conversation of
questions and answers.
On a cautionary note, compliment the person you’re talking to only when
both of you have been talking for at least a few minutes. Saying it too soon
can seem creepy and desperate. But if they say something they’re proud of, like
“I just got promoted” or “I helped organize this party”, make sure you use the
circumstance to compliment them about it.
5 perfect conversation makers for enjoyable conversations
Conversations have to be fun and interesting. And conversations get
interesting only when the two people conversing have things in common. After
you’re done with the introductions, you need to try and build the connection so
your new friend feels like they have something in common with you.
Here are 5 things you can talk about that will definitely help find
common ground between both of you.
#1 The place. The place both of you met is a perfect way to get to know each other
without getting personal too soon. Talk about where you are, and about things
you see all around you.
#2 Work. Work is rather impersonal and a good conversation topic to talk about
in the first few minutes. If you know something about their line of work, seem
interested in it and ask a few curious questions or talk about what you do
professionally.
#3 Beyond work. Everyone indulges in a few activities beyond work, be
it hobbies or watching movies on weekends. As you talk about work, try to
involve other activities into your questions by saying something like “your
work seems rather hectic, you must be doing something to blow off steam during
the weekends…”
A good conversationalist always tries to merge one conversation topic
into another without going off in a tangent, bouncing from one different topic
to another. Whatever you ask, find a way to incorporate the question to an
answer the person gives.
#4 Talk about the common factor. There must be something in common
between both of you, and that’s always a great way to break the ice or go into
something more personal. Talk about the friend that introduced both of you, the
host of the gathering, or an activity both of you share.
#5 An incident you experienced a few minutes ago. Funny incidents or
stories are always great icebreakers to have a laugh. Did you experience
anything funny, like spilling a drink or tasting something that was revolting a
few minutes ago? If you want to make someone feel comfortable and like you, you
need to make them laugh at the opportune moment.
8 things to remember during your first conversation
A conversation doesn’t start and end with the words you choose to use.
A lot more depends on your personality and the way you behave around this new
friend you’re talking to. If you want to keep a conversation going without any
awkwardness in the air, keep these 8 things in mind, and you’ll have a much
better chance of impressing the hottie you’re talking to.
#1 Appear comfortable. If you feel uncomfortable or
awkward, the person you’re talking to will immediately sense the discomfort
you’re feeling. And that would only make both of you feel more awkward. Relax,
using these tips here, you’d already know everything about what you need to
talk. There’s no need to feel stressed by the conversation. You know what you
need to say, don’t you?
#2 Look around now and then. In between your conversation, every
now and then, don’t say anything for a couple of seconds. Just look around for
a second or two, and then continue the conversation. Adding a few seconds of
quiet time now and then initially will help the person you’re talking to feel
more comfortable, even in silence.
But if you see their eyes light up with excitement, don’t stop talking.
They love your company already!
#3 Smile. Be warm when you talk to someone, especially if you’re trying to
impress them. Smiling can do two things, let them know you like their company,
and secondly, it’ll help them feel more relaxed around you.
#4 But don’t just smile! Smiling and looking around without
saying anything makes everything seem much more awkward. If you smile, make
sure you say something to continue the conversation.
#5 Don’t fidget. If you want to overcome the awkwardness, stop
fidgeting. If you start fidgeting or looking around because you don’t know what
to say, you’d end up fidgeting a lot more in your effort to cover your
awkwardness. Stand or sit down calmly, and just look around to find a new
inspiration to talk about.
#6 Be interested. Seem genuinely interested when you’re talking to
someone you’ve just met. And try your best to look focused and avoid appearing
distracted. Distraction is an annoying insult to someone who’s taking time to
answer you or have a conversation with you.
#7 Stop judging yourself. It’s completely acceptable to say
something silly or stupid now and then. Stop holding yourself back in the fear
of saying something that you think will be judged. People are forgiving and
likeable if you seem like a relaxed person, so just laugh your slipups off and
no one will care!
#8 Don’t be overeager. Don’t be an eager beaver who’s
waiting to please. Don’t talk about meeting up again sometime or try making
plans to catch up for a movie. You’ll just end up sounding like a clingy leech.
If you’ve had a nice time and have to say goodbye, say something like “we
should catch up sometime again” or “I had a wonderful time talking to you, I’d
love to see you again sometime…”
Giving up and second chances
Even the best of conversationalists have to deal with grumpy company
now and then. If someone’s clearly not interested in talking, don’t blame
yourself for it *unless you’re a bore who’s not following these conversation
tips!*
If someone excuses themselves after a few minutes, don’t force them to
continue the conversation. If you really like them and want to know them
better, you could always *accidentally* bump into them when they’re alone and
bored or if they have to walk past you later in the evening.
All you have to do is look towards them and smile, or just raise the
hand holding a drink ever so slightly. If they’re interested in talking to you,
they’d walk up to you and in all probability, they may even be happy to talk to
you this time around.
Dealing with bad conversationalists
Are you the only one constantly asking questions or making
conversation? Do you really like this person so much that you’re willing to
throw yourself off a bridge to continue the conversation?
Here are 3 bad conversationalists and different ways to deal with it.
#1 They’re not interested. If someone isn’t interested in
talking to you, or is answering only with monosyllabic answers like yes or no,
then let them go. You’d only piss them off and make them hate you if you try to
force them into a conversation.
#2 Rude or cold behavior. Some people get rude or prefer to
behave in a cold way to cover their own awkwardness. If you’re talking to
someone who isn’t getting away from you, nor are they trying to converse with
you, they’re probably the ones who aren’t confident about their own
conversation skills. Be warm and friendly, and try to get them to feel more
relaxed before you give up on them.
#3 The scared conversationalist. Almost all people are intimidated
and awed by smooth talkers. A few guys and girls take time to open up,
especially if you’re an extremely smooth and confident conversationalist. If
the person you’re talking to doesn’t open up quickly, take it slow.
Pause for a few seconds every now and then before asking a question. By
doing that, let them believe that you’re no smooth talker either. It’ll take
the pressure off them and give them more confidence to ask you questions in
return.
Ending a conversation the right way
No matter how the conversation goes, end the conversation warmly. Even
if you couldn’t get someone to fall for you, you at least have a new
acquaintance or a friend. Perhaps, if you ever do bump into this person
somewhere else, you can still say hello and start all over again.
But if it all works out and the person you’re talking to has fun
talking to you, make sure you find a way to keep in touch, or plan something
more personal and cozy for a second date!
Keep these tips on how to keep a conversation going in mind, and you’d
surely have no difficulty in impressing anyone you meet, and having a great
time too. WANNA
